"Little People"

The Little People of Austin's that I have found through out the house. Two and counting.


Hey All,

People who all knew Austin knew he loved to play with his Little People. He had them all just about. He also would love to stuff them where they didn't go. Back in June I found one in between the TV and the TV cabinet. A famous spot where toys were always placed by Austin. Funny thing is I have cleaned many times there since his death and never saw it sitting there. Today while I was cleaning out the computer desk I found another one stuffed on the side by the printer. Another place I always look when I am printing something and still never saw it there. I know it is Austin letting me know he is around and I know when I find his Little People he is laughing up in Heaven. Thanks for memories and smiles Austin. We love and miss you.

Elizabeth

"The Rock"

Well today marks three months since Austin has been gone from Earth. Boy and do we miss him every day. There isn't a second that goes by that I don't think of him. Today my parents and I went to a funeral, yeah that isn't where I would of liked to be three months later. It was actually kind of weird because it brought back so many memories that day Austin was buried. But the weird thing is when the priest was talking he talked about a friend that had just passed away from throat cancer. How the chemo and radiatoin took away his voice. I thought to myself, "will I ever be away from Cancer?" It seems that I hear this words all the time when I thought they would be gone by now. I was telling my mom today how I think that when you are given the death penalty that you shouldn't be shocked to death but you should be injected with Neuroblastoma and then they will tell you that they are giving you Chemo to help but in realty you get it to feel the suffering from the toxins. It may sound cruel but then they truley would know what suffering was like and we would know what the end would be like, Neuroblastoma kills. As you can see Cancer makes me angry!!!

This blog is titled "the rock" because there is a story about it. LOL I started to clean out things from Austin and yeah it was hard but I found some humor in it. I cleaned out a diaper bag that we used and in it I found two river rocks. I started laughing when I found them because I can see him putting them in there. He got them from Nannie and Pop's house and was known for going outside and bringing in the rocks. I guess he decided he was going to take some home with him. I thought it was ironic that he put two in there. yeah the first thing most would think one for each hand but my mind thought one for Jason and one for me. So now we each have a rock picked out by Austin. He loved rocks. Nannie has put some of these rocks he would bring in on his grave. I never look at river rocks without thinking of Austin.

Tonight we ate hamburgers for dinner and all I could think of was how Austin would of loved to eat his with the buns only please. LOL Every where I go and everything I do I always think about if Austin would of like it or not. Some times it makes me laugh and some times it makes me cry, heck sometimes it makes me angry. All and all it doesn't change it, he is gone. I know he is gone some times I just want to pretend it was all a bad dream and he really is here. How I would love to hold him once more, to hear him laugh, to see him blow his kisses or wave good bye. To hear him tell the dogs "get" or "go". To have him do his captin feathersword "arggg", to sing his Wiggle songs "fruit salad", to hear him call his dogs "mo" and "AE" (Gizmo and Abby), to hear him say "no" and see him shake his head no with it. Man there are so many things I miss and I wish I could just have him back to see them all again. I miss my Austin. Life is just not the same without him and it never will be.

Elizabeth

NB 2007 Conference

"Above the Clouds" picture taking outside our plane window on our way home.



Lisa, Amanda and I first night at the conference



Sweet Cooper



Amanda and I on the streets on Chicago with and "Angel"


Amanda and I

We had a wonderful experience at the conference this past weekend. I wasn't so sure how I would feel about being there and to be honest at first I thought I made the wrong decision. That feeling changed after the first Angel Parent session. I finally was in a room of people that undstand the pain I am going through. We all could relate to the feelings we are having after losing a child to cancer, and not just any cancer, Neuroblastoma, the evil of them all. Hearing all the courages battles these children had to face lights a fire in me more to fight for a cure. It was hard seeing little bald boys running around and listening to parents talking about new treatments but that didn't keep me from wanting to find a cure. As they reminded me of Austin's fight.

We did finally get to meet the Cates Family and I really enjoyed talking to Lisa, Jason and watching Cooper smile. When Cooper sees pictures of Austin he gets the biggest smile on his face. I could only imagine the look on his face if Austin was able to be there to meet him. They would of had a good time.

My brain is still going ninty to nothing with all this information that I want to share on how we can help. Soon I will post ideas that I will like to accomplish to help raise money one to help find a cure for Neuroblastoma and two, to help to see about getting funding to have the conference every year instead of every two years. I feel two years going by is a long wait for an NB parent to be without new information on treatment. So we will see what we can come up with to help them.

Elizabeth