Happy Mother's Day......

A sign from Austin. A longhorn cloud.

Today is harder then my birthday. My mom has been gone on a retreat since Thursday and came back today. We went to a candlelight ceremony as a surprise for her last night and all I could think of was Austin. How he would of loved to have been there to surprise Nannie with a big smile and a hug. That's what sucks. I get to do all these things now but I don't have Austin with me so it is like I don't care about doing things anymore. Like going to functions and going out to eat. We were so isolated that it got to be "normal". Today we went to church and today was when my mom came back from her retreat. Father had all of the mothers stand up to do the mother blessing but I couldn't. I knew I would just stand there and cry. I sat and cried instead. While he was giving the homily this noise from the ceiling (I think it was the speaker) scared him. He laughed and was making jokes about how he was scared of ghost. All I could think of was it was Austin scaring him. Oh how he loved to scare people. It was so nice to see my mother again. I haven't been this long away from her. She is my rock. She got me through Austin's treatments and now is getting me through him being gone. Being away from her is like me being a little girl again. I felt lost.

After Church I visited the cemetery. I sat there and cried. I told Austin there are so many people here today visiting their mothers for Mother's day and here I am a mother visiting her son. Was so weird. I let out a lot of things to him today and I feel much better now. I always get this feeling like he is really listening. He always has been a good listener to me when he was alive. Even though he didn't understand. In ways he did understand. I would tell him stuff and he would just look at me and sometimes gave me hugs. He always knew when I needed a hug. Boy I miss those hugs.

On another note, I got an email from a NB friend Cooper's mom. She said they got a sign from Austin. It was a Cloud in the shape of a longhorn. She sent me pictures so I have posted one for you.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Mother's Day and a wonderful Sunday!!!

Elizabeth