"The Chosen Mothers"

Hello All,

We are doing all so well. Sorry I haven't posted a entry in a while. Austin's counts are doing great. We are still waiting on information that Dr. Patel is researching to see if we will do radiation. Austin is still in isolation. The plan is to be out of isolation by June 1st. Looks like we are still on that path. It will be weird on June 1st when Austin can be a normal one year old for a while. I want to end with "The Chosen Mothers" by Erma Bombeck. When I went to the doctor for the first time when I found out I was pregnant with Austin they did a sonogram. The doctor had me come back in two weeks to do another sonogram. To find out at the second sonogram that my doctor didn't feel like Austin's was growing from the first sonogram but after looking at the second one she said he is doing fine. When I think back on this now I feel that was when God made a decison to let Austin live but have this disease. For some reason I feel very strong about that. He is my little miracle. After you read what Erma Bombeck wrote you will understand what I mean. I couldn't beleive it when I found this because this is exactly how I felt It happend.

The Chosen Mothers
By Erma Bombeck
Most women become a mother by accident, some by choice, and a few by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over earth selecting His instruments for progagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in giant ledger.."Armstrong, Beth, Son, patron saint Matthew" "Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia" "Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Greard." Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer." The angel is curious." why this one, God? She is so happy." "Exactly," smiles God," Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel." "But, does she have patience?" asks the angel," I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, She will handle it." "I watched her today, "said God." she has that feeling of self independence that is so rare and necessary in a mother. You see, the child I am going to give her has its own world.She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy." "But Lord, I don't think she believes in you," said the angel. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect, She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that virtue?" God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is the women I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted. She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see.. Ignorance, cruelty, predudice.and allow her to rise above then." "And what about her patron saint" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air. God smiles and says.."A mirror will suffice."